When students move away from home for the first time, many of them are looking for a community of faith. They are searching for more than a ready-made group of friends, or a set of ideological beliefs; they are trying to find a place where they really belong. This quest for belonging extends to staff members too, as they transition into new environments and seek a similar sense of community. Communities of faith that put pressure on their members to adopt certain beliefs or behave in determined ways can create confusion and even mental health issues. Faith leaders who act in this way are playing with the fire of students’ and staffs’ deepest sense of belonging. From my own experience of pastoral conversations as a university chaplain at Holy Name Church on Oxford Road, here are three pieces of advice I would give to anyone looking for a community of faith during their time at the university: 

a) Do I really belong here? 

The first point of advice is to find a place where you really feel as though you belong. A number can identify a particular house on a street, but tells you nothing about the family that lives inside. In the same way, just identifying with particular faith community is not the same as belonging to it. There is more to faith than just the outward practices and behaviours. It always involves a lived experience of growth and maturity in which a deeper sense of belonging begins to emerge. When you find the place where you belong, it will affirm your deepest desires, your greatest hopes and even your wildest dreams. It will leave you feeling uplifted. 

b) Does my faith resonate with that of others?

The second point of advice is to discover how your faith resonates with that of others in the community. When you enter into a faith community you might be asked to give up certain things, but not everything! The process will always honour your individual uniqueness as part of the community. It is necessary to understand your own deepest values so that you can appreciate how they fit in with those of others. If this really is the place for you then you will experience a resonance between you and them that will grow and deepen. It will strengthen your inner-self at the same time as it deepens your relationships with others. 

c) Am I being left free to decide?

The third point of advice is to ask yourself whether you are being left free to decide. The human conscience is like the needle on a compass. If it is left free, then it will always points to what is good, beautiful and true. All sorts of things can constrain that freedom. Sometimes there can be coercion from other members of the community. There can be hierarchies of knowledge and pastoral responsibility that control rather than leaving people free. This kind of behaviour is often motivated by fear rather than faith. A decision to become a member of a faith community has to be accompanied by a deep reverence for inner-freedom. You will recognise the moment when it comes. It will lead to a deep and lasting peace. 

Fr Philip Harrison SJ, University Chaplain 

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